Choosing who's in charge.
Your wishes matter most when the right person has the say. Here's how to make sure they do.
About 2 minutes to read
If you don't name anyone, state law decides who makes the funeral decisions, usually starting with a spouse, then adult children. Many states let you name someone else ahead of time.
When it matters most
- Blended families, where more than one family has a say
- A partner you aren't legally married to
- Chosen family, or a close friend who knows you best
- Children who may disagree, or who live far away
How to name someone
Many states have a short form for this, often called a designation of agent or funeral agent. It usually needs your signature and a witness or a notary. Name a backup too, in case your first choice can't serve.
Read more: why a will or power of attorney may not be enough
A will is often read after the funeral, too late to guide it. A power of attorney usually ends at death, so in most states it doesn't cover funeral decisions. Rules differ by state.
Read more: the usual order when no one is named
- A spouse
- Adult children
- Parents
- Adult brothers and sisters
- Other relatives, in an order set by state law
Name them in your plan.
Your plan records who you want in charge, and a backup. Then share it with them, so they know.