Planning together, a little at a time.
It's one of the kindest conversations a family can have, and one of the hardest to start. Here's how to begin, and how to plan side by side.
Starting the conversation
There's no perfect moment. A quiet one is enough. A few ways people begin:
- "I've been thinking about what you'd want, and I'd rather ask you than guess."
- "I started my own plan. Would you look at it with me?"
- "Could we do this together, a little at a time?"
What helps
- Start with what matters to them, like faith, music or family, before cost
- Let them lead, and listen more than you talk
- Keep it short. One conversation doesn't need to cover everything.
What to avoid
- Rushing, or bringing it up in a crowded room
- Deciding for them
- Making it about money first
Three ways to plan together
They plan, you help
They make the plan in their own account, and share it with you when they're ready.
You plan side by side
Invite them, and you both see and add to the same plan.
You plan for them
With their blessing, you answer for them and read it back together.
Send an invitation
They'll get a short, private note from you with a link to start. Nothing is shared until they choose.
Dear Mom,
I started thinking about what we'd each want someday, and I'd love to do it together. No rush. Just a little at a time.
With love, your name
This link opens a private plan we can make together on mywishesinorder.com. It's free, and nothing is shared until you choose.
Invitations send from here once accounts are live.